


I've Always Wanted You

by PadawanBrittany (PadawanRyan)



Category: Jonas Brothers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-22
Updated: 2009-03-22
Packaged: 2017-10-25 20:55:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/274704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PadawanRyan/pseuds/PadawanBrittany
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe's ready to move out when Kevin announces his engagement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Always Wanted You

**KEVIN JONAS AND GIRLFRIEND DANIELLE DELEASA ENGAGED!**

I read the headline in the magazine and can’t help but scoff. Engaged…it sounded so wrong. I never thought of him as old enough to be engaged. Of course, being twenty-one, he was certainly old enough. I suppose the pain of possibly having to part with him is what made me so bitter about the prospect. He would go out, get married, live in another home, and he and Danielle would have their little Jonas children.

“Joe, are you okay?”

 _No, I’m not._ “Yes, Nick, I’m fine. What do you want?”

“I want to talk to you about what I heard this morning.”

What did he hear this morning? The house is usually silent in the morning, until Frankie wants breakfast and attempts to awaken everybody. I thought back to the morning, and tried to think of anything out of the ordinary. There wasn’t much to think on. Nick had been asleep during the brief time I visited the bathroom, and there was more silence for another hour or so.

“Joe, I’m not stupid. I heard you throwing up.”

 _Shit._

“I’ve also noticed you distancing yourself from everyone. Care to explain?”

No, I really didn’t care to explain. I sat back on my bed, sulking as I was, with the magazine in my hand. Nick still stood outside my door, regardless if he made any noise to show it. He wouldn’t stop at anything, I knew my younger brother. The blankets on my bed were pulled up over me, luckily as Nick turned the knob and walked in moments later. I should have locked the door, but I didn’t want to get up.

“What are you reading?”

“Nothing, Nicholas. Just a magazine. Leave me alone, please?”

“Uh, no thanks, I’d rather know why you’re acting like such a jerk.”

“How am I acting like a jerk?”

“You’ve been rude to Kevin ever since he told us about him and Danielle.”

How could I not be rude? He ran in the house one day, face full of a smile, with Danielle’s hand in his. She seemed just as happy, and they both seemed out of breath, as if they had either just run all the way home, or completed a long make-out session. Everyone was curious, until he just blurted out that they were engaged to be married. I couldn’t take it, and had just stomped out of the room.

“I’m worried, Joe, but I’m also disappointed.”

“Screw off.”

“I saw the test. What’s going on?”

My head snapped to stare at him instantly, “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re lucky I was the one to change the garbage all week, and not mom or dad. I saw all three tests. Why didn’t you tell me you’re pregnant?”

Did he honestly have to ask? I didn’t want anybody to know about it. For two months, I had just assumed I was sick, or feeling heartbroken because my older brother spent all his time with his girlfriend. It came as a shock to me when I read ‘pregnant’ on the first test, and I cried after I read it on the following two. That’s why I had been distancing myself from everyone, but especially from…him.

“Joe, you can talk to me, you know.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Who’s the father?”

Like I really wanted him to know. He’d find it disgusting, it’s not something that’s right in the world. After Camilla broke up with me, explaining that she knew I was in love with someone else, I needed comfort. Kevin was the one who had come to comfort me, and before either of us could comprehend it, we were entangled in the bed sheets with our lips attached. It was all I had ever wanted, and more.

“Is that why you’ve been so moody about Kevin and Danielle?”

 _A little bit._

“He’s concerned, too, Joe. He asked me yesterday why you don’t seem happy for him.”

 _It’s because I’m not._

“I didn’t know what to tell him. Now I know why.”

 _You have no fucking clue._

“You should tell him you’re pregnant. Maybe he’d be able to help you.”

He wouldn’t help me, I was sure of it. Kevin was so over-the-top about getting engaged, and he was psyched for the wedding in a month. I didn’t want to burden him with my problems. Sure, the baby may be his, but it’s not his problem. I’m the one who had to feed it and carry it, and give birth when the time comes. For the rest of my life, I would have a constant reminder of my unreturned love.

“Just talk to him, Joe! Talk to me! We’re both worried about you!”

 _Go to Hell._

“We want to help you, Joseph.”

“I’m leaving.”

.

.

“Why are you doing this, Joe? You can’t go.”

I had been quite literal when I said I was leaving. I had thrown on a sweater that evening and asked my parents if I could move out. I’m nineteen, and definitely make enough money to afford it, so they agreed it was a good idea. Mom didn’t like the idea that Kevin and I would both be leaving her, but dad assured her that they still had Nick and Frankie, and I told them I’d keep in touch.

“What do you think you’ll accomplish by moving out?”

“I won’t have you nagging at me. And…”

“And what?”

 _Shit._ “And…I’ll never have to see that heartbreaking one-night-stand of a bastard again.”

“What are you talking about?”

What had I been talking about? That’s right, the father of my child. Nick still hadn’t figured it out, although I assumed he would, since he insisted he was so smart. I had kept to myself so much, that nobody knew anything anymore. Mom, dad, Kevin, and Frankie…none of them even knew about my pregnancy. They hadn’t cared to question about the songs I had been writing in my spare time, or the reason I locked myself away.

“The father, Joe? Does he live near here, then?”

 _Closer than you think._

“You don’t have to move out just to get away from him.”

“I need to get away from everyone.”

“Mom and dad would understand if you’re gay, Joe. They would probably be very willing to help with the baby.”

“Not when it comes out looking like Kevin!”

I couldn’t help it anymore, I had snapped. Nick wasn’t going to leave me alone, and the anger inside had caused me to blurt out my secret. I suddenly felt more angry with him for bringing it out of me. He just stared at me in shock, although I hadn’t seen it because I had been faced away from him the entire time. I waited for him to tell me I was disgusting or a sinner, but what I heard instead surprised me.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

The voice wasn’t Nick’s. My breath hitched in my throat when I heard it, and for a moment, I thought I’d have a heart attack. Curse Nick for leaving the door open, because clearly we’d been arguing loud enough for someone to hear. I turned around to see them both standing there, looking shocked. Nick looked at him, attempting to make out the emotion in his eyes, the returned his gaze to me.

“Because,” I began, choking on a sob, “You have Danielle and you don’t want me.”

“Of course I want you, Joe. I always have.”

“Then why are you getting married?!”

“I didn’t think you wanted me!”

 _Fucking Hell._ “Are you kidding me? Did that night not show you that, Kevin?”

“I thought I was the rebound, Joe. You and Camilla had just broke up.”

I stared at my older brother, dumbfounded. He thought he was the rebound? He was the reason Camilla had broke up with me, as I had been pining for him much longer than I had even realized. Slowly, Kevin pushed past Nick, and reached his arm out to grab my hand. I allowed him to, and his other hand reached under my sweater to touch my stomach. As his fingers grazed it softly, he smiled.

“I can feel the tiny bump.”

“It’s more noticeable than I thought it would be at two months.”

“Maybe we’re having twins.”

Lifting my gaze from the ground, where it has positioned itself a moment before, I looked into my brother’s eyes. He seemed so open to the idea of us having babies, it almost caused me to melt in spot. His breath was on my face, and only moments later, his lips were on mine, giving me the softest and sweetest kiss ever. It ended too soon, though, and he pulled away from me completely.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“Well, I have to break the news to Danielle, don’t I? I’m sure she’ll understand. Then…I’m coming back, and I’m going to move in with you.”

 _Maybe things won’t turn out badly after all._


End file.
